tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post4071908367501996578..comments2023-09-12T09:33:43.919+01:00Comments on Behind The Child: Hello, Mumsnetters!Tiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11360092874754466982noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-36546833453277536492009-10-30T09:33:10.683+00:002009-10-30T09:33:10.683+00:00Oh for crying out loud.
Not that bloody shower o...Oh for crying out loud. <br /><br />Not that bloody shower on Mumsnet again. <br /><br />I am not going to read what they are saying - cannot be arsed, they are brave people trying to live their lives their way. <br /><br />It is a shame their minds are so closed that they cannot accept that others have made other choices. <br /><br />Set Mog on them, she will sort them out!<br /><br />RYou mean there's more???https://www.blogger.com/profile/12736627336832800972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-40907507178199882822009-10-28T18:06:01.863+00:002009-10-28T18:06:01.863+00:00What a lovely blog Tia (yes I am a Mumsnetter but ...What a lovely blog Tia (yes I am a Mumsnetter but try to stay away from inflammatory discussions where possible). You are so right - nobody knows or understands unless they have been there too. If Julia's books and articles help just one person feel better about making a difficult decision for their child then they serve a good purpose. It's not for anyone else to judge when not in full possession of the facts.Amandanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-30321110221861723552009-10-26T08:53:44.764+00:002009-10-26T08:53:44.764+00:00fingers crossed seizures still under control with ...fingers crossed seizures still under control with the ketogenic diet. Good thing too as her rescue med is now paraldehyde. We've been eyeing the long rubber tube with some horror!Rivenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03931064701385091664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-12511384777120047102009-10-25T14:25:34.358+00:002009-10-25T14:25:34.358+00:00Mog is so very lucky to have such sensible adults ...Mog is so very lucky to have such sensible adults in her life! I know my own limitations - I have no illusions that I would have risen to the challenge of caring for a child with significant special needs - goodness knows, I have enough difficulty being a good mum to two kids without particularly 'special' needs. I hope your example will allow more families to find the kind of arrangements you have, so children stay safe and well cared for, but don't have to lose contact with their birth families - to see that it doesn't have to be all or nothing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-25451799584140876822009-10-25T10:35:27.394+00:002009-10-25T10:35:27.394+00:00I hate when people come up to you and tell you tha...I hate when people come up to you and tell you that special children are only born to special parents. What a load of cr@p. I think the ability to expose yourself to so much criticism must be respected. We each have to make a decision that we can live with.Jacquihttp://www.terriblepalsy.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-20651420651811877102009-10-25T08:11:59.727+00:002009-10-25T08:11:59.727+00:00I can see how that would get to be an issue. I'...I can see how that would get to be an issue. I'm so sorry you have to put up with that, and so glad that C was born to you and not to them. You know how wonderful she is. <br /><br />I hope her seizures are settling down btw. <br />TiaTiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11360092874754466982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-47602904197492860872009-10-25T08:08:43.701+00:002009-10-25T08:08:43.701+00:00I think this will pop up every time there's mo...I think this will pop up every time there's more publicity. And will bring up opposing views. It is something that is close to my heart as Celyn is very like mog (and as a baby, ys, the screaming, stiffness etc etc) and my MIL said 'have her adopted so you can have a 'proper' baby.<br />She only saw the impairment, not the child. She was not welcome anymore. And she quoted JH's book at me over the years.<br />Great.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-45362284935965846522009-10-25T00:48:32.375+01:002009-10-25T00:48:32.375+01:00I brought the book with reservation a while ago no...I brought the book with reservation a while ago now, but when i read it i had alot of respect for Julia, to admit you cant cope is a lot braver than trying to and damaging your child in the process. Yes we could get high and mighty and say that i have had it hard and never gave my child up but thats crap. We are all different. We read of parents disabled children who neglect or punish their children because they cant or wont cope. Julia made a brave decsion and because of that bravery Mog is surrounded by love and people who care for her. I hope people can see this. Well said xxxSara xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08060884332479801540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-87813089830463070372009-10-25T00:48:12.745+01:002009-10-25T00:48:12.745+01:00Oh Tia, It seems a shame that this is coming up al...Oh Tia, It seems a shame that this is coming up all over again. But I guess if it helps someone to think things through and realize how blest not only Mog is but also you and her birthparents are (I'm assuming you'll agree that you are blest to have her in your life-I feel that way about our special kids-)-it will be for a good reason.<br />Sorry you have to go through all this again. And I agree we can not know what they are going through unless we've been in their shoes--sometimes it is easy to question/judge even-- but it is not our place--we should be thankful that they are putting their child ahead of what others will/ do think of them.<br />-So I hope that those who are reading your comments will understand and be thankful too for all that you , Mog, and her birthparents have together.<br />DebraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-22277258585755366552009-10-24T22:04:57.531+01:002009-10-24T22:04:57.531+01:00"she is the mother I can imagine being if it ..."she is the mother I can imagine being if it weren't for the loss." I always used to cringe when I heard people talk about the grief and devastation they experience when a child is born with disabilities. I feel for the child and for other readers who themselves have disabilities. This is still true, but in reading this I feel less able to judge somehow, having never been on that side of it before and only knowing my children on this side of the delivery room. I admire her honesty ("I wished she were dead"), although I really hate that that was so. It's complex.sarah besshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08657824655713557099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-10379802132934207342009-10-24T21:57:08.592+01:002009-10-24T21:57:08.592+01:00well said- sorry you felt the need to.well said- sorry you felt the need to.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-15401339511370162742009-10-24T20:45:26.376+01:002009-10-24T20:45:26.376+01:00Having had adopted three children who are SN and ...Having had adopted three children who are SN and not as severely affected early on as Mog I can tell you that Her mother made a very good decision. It is one I wish my girls B'P's would have made. All suffered horrible abuse and neglect at the hands of their Birth families. My oldest one lived 10 years in neglect and abuse until one day her B' mom got brave enough to go to social services and demand she be removed from her home. B'mom had been told the child would die by age three! She kept waiting for that to happen. Even with all the reports of neglect and abuse they would not have removed her had I not beeen willing to adopt her!<br />All three suffered sexual abuse in addition to physical abuse and neglect. Two of my children were so severely mentally affected they were animal like. Amber who would have been fairly normal had she been given up at an early age was finally able to show us she remembered the horrific abuse she suffered and was able to realize she would never suffer like that again. She was functioning happily and making great strides until an untimly death.<br />Until you walk in those shoes of birth Parents who go through the mental anguish of the if onlys and did I do something to cause this you have no right to condemn them. <br />I chose to parent these girls and I had had medical training as a nurse so I knew what to expect. Except it is different to do it 24/7 and not in 12 hour or 8 hour shifts.<br />I think it commendable that Mog's B' parents stay in her life and still do family things with her. None of my girls parents did that. They were glad to be rid of them and had the attitude a lot of society does that there is no value in children who will be totally dependent all their lives and a drain on society! I could go on and on but I won't!Doorlesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12144107052128554986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2411253170651203836.post-12559125149553813082009-10-24T19:13:29.495+01:002009-10-24T19:13:29.495+01:00Dont see how you could have uoset anyone Tia. Mog ...Dont see how you could have uoset anyone Tia. Mog is truly loved and her other Mother is someone I for one admire And you are so right that telling their story has helped others..<br />Sending go away flu bugs hopes and prayers!<br />Tina and gangTinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00597768004706150862noreply@blogger.com