Hope's a funny thing. A goodish night, a smiling happy child, and the future is bright and full of hope. A long and sleepless night, an ill child, and the hope disappears, the future fades and all that remains is the now and the getting through it. Thinking through treacle, the only hope is that eventually the caffeine will kick in before the treacle sets solid.
Tonight, I'm hopeful again. It may well be that there's no quick fix here. Mog's general condition may not actually improve. But I'm confident that people are listening. Mog will not just be written off. I will not be doing this alone. Night care is coming. And, from next week, Mog will be able to try CPAP and see how she does with it.
Hope. Hope that this will work, will help Mog. Hope that this will bring better nights for both of us. Hope that better nights bring more energy to both of us, more of Mog's presence and less of her twitching absence.