Note to self and others.

It's never a good thing to be running late by half past six in the morning. And efficiency is all very well, and flinging a load of clothes onto superwash is good too, but please consider the possibility that gathering all school uniform dresses into the superwash is just possibly going to cause problems when you come to dress your child a few minutes later. And if you absolutely have to wash all her summer uniform at once and on a school day, next time please don't make it the day your daughter's class is running the school assembly.

Dear carer,
I've seen you arrive. You park your car, take your glasses off and put them in the glove box, feel about in the passenger footwell for your handbag, leave your car, lock it, put your keys in your handbag and cone to our door. Then you spend the next hour getting me to read things for you, asking me over and over again where things are, failing to locate a green Vaseline tin on a white bathroom shelf because there are several other green things also on the shelf, and apologise the whole time because you have left your glasses in the car. Please stop leaving your glasses in the car! I need to get on with other things, not run around after you.

Dear cat,
You're unhappy. I get that. It's not much fun stuck in one room. It's even less fun though when you have poo'd all along every wall. Desist.

Dear life,
Why do you feel the need to schedule four equally important and mutually incompatible things all at the same time today? And, did you really have to choose one of the hottest days of the year to cause my freezer door to bounce open again and sit defrosting for a full day?

Dear locals,
Anyone want bread, Quorn, runny icecream, apple purée, some mildly dodgy seafood or some wobbly Fab lollies?
Tia