December memos

Dear hoist engineer,

You are a hoist engineer working for a company supplying hoists to people living in the community. It's safe to assume that the majority of your clients will either have a disability of some kind themselves or else be caring for someone with a disability. "I've met some Disabled who have more between their ears than normal people" is therefore a sentence you may wish to consider striking from your vocabulary sooner rather than later. Oh, and whilst pruning vocab, could you perhaps understand that children attending special school have not been "Sectioned"?
Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.


Dear Weather Man,

Snow. Snow, snow snow! Everywhere in the country, snow. And what do we get? less than 3/8ths of an inch, not even enough to sew a seam with, which falls in the night and fades away during the day. This is almost worse than none at all. Could you please send us a nice pretty fat snow blanket so we are no longer the only green spot in the country or else turn the rest of the country's snow into grey slush so we can laugh at them ?


Dear Mog,

I know you don't like having dental treatment. And I know you can't swallow. But they really were suctioning you just as fiercely as I would have been. Aspirating the water and tartar really wasn't necessary. If I've misjudged you and this chest thing is totally unrelated, I apologise. But either way, could you just calm down and breathe a little please? I don't want to call out the little green men just yet. Or at all, really.


Dear Little Fish,

Yes, the kitchen light is on. I'm mixing meds, washing nebs, making cups of tea, feeding the cat. You want total darkness in your bed, allow me to close the door. Once you are in bed, you don't get to control the light switches in other rooms. Deal with it. I love you dearly, but you aren't the one in charge here and we both seem to be forgetting that a little again.

Dear Feet,

The eczema is itchy. And optional. Desist.

That's all for now.
Tia