Plackard Caps

I may not have been blogging, but I've still been having thoughts (it happens sometimes, take that surprised look off your face). And I've come up with an invention. Those LED signs which seem to be everywhere now, flashing helpful messages:

Your doctor's clinic is
currently running
45 minutes late we
apologise for the
delay which is due
to large numbers
of patients need
PETER SMITH
TO DR JONES
ing to be seen.
Coughs and sneezes
spread diseases
wash your hands
if you have 'flu
go away. If you
don't why are
you here?

That sort of thing. I need a personalised one, one I can wear over my head. It'll have an assortment of messages to suit every occasion. For example:

I am not staring
at your son. I am
looking at his
wheelchair and
wondering if it
might work for
my daughter. If
she were here you'd
know that but
because I'm alone
I probably look
like I'm staring
at your son.
Sorry.

Or, coming from the other side of the divide

If you keep
staring at my
daughter you
will walk into
a lamppost and
I will laugh.
Thank you.

and

No she isn't
asleep and she
isn't dead she
just likes to
close her eyes.

This hat wouldn't just have our life specific messages though, there would be general every day ones too. Health:

No I don't
have swine 'flu
it's just a
sneeze.

Hey you!
Don't spit
in the street
it's disgusting.

Traffic:

You in the big car
beeping the old
lady as she pushes
her trolley slowly
across the road.
Think about it -
would you really
prefer her to go
back to driving
again?

and teenagers:

I know it's been
a whole 12 hours
since you saw
your friends last
and lots has
happened and
you need to share
it all all at once.
But
This is my
pavement too
please
move over.
You won't die
if you have to
walk in groups
of less than 5
aside you know.

So that's my invention. Pat Pending. Interested investors please form an orderly queue.
Tia