Tuesday, 2 November 2010

The Power of No

There's no mistaking Mog's clear "Yes". There are a good few which are indistinct, but a big powerful enthusiastic "YES!" is unmistakable even if you don't know how Mog communicates. Her "No"s have been a little harder for people to pick up. They're harder for her to shape, especially when she's happy, and they're silent and fleeting, so harder to spot if you aren't watching closely. Recently though, everyone around Mog seems to be better at finding her No. This is good. Well, mostly. It's been causing a few problems at school apparently.

"Mog, can I sit beside you?"

"Mog, can I just push you through to the hall now?"

"Mog, let's get onto the bus shall we?"

"Mog, we're going to read a story now, alright?"

Interesting times whilst people adjust to the reality of a child with attitude. And whilst Mog adjusts to the reality of a life where you do sometimes have to go along with the majority even when you express your own opinion.

Little Fish, too, is learning the power of No. Hers and mine. I ask her if she wants something, she says "No!" I walk away. She screams, I suggest she might mean yes, she yells that she doesn't want it she doesn't want me, she doesn't want any of it. I walk further away, she says she is ready for my help, I come back, she yells "No!" and I walk away again. This gets old fast.

She's learning my "No" too. We have a deal, LF and I. She can lie in bed with her bedroom door open at night as long as she lies quietly and goes off to sleep, rather than calling out and joining in with the general household conversation. So far, so fair. Except that she's now taken to objecting to having the lights on in the hall and bathroom as she thinks she needs it dark in order to sleep. Sorry, LF; that would be a No. You don't get to control the rest of us to that extent, and whilst you may be happy to go to bed at 5.30, the rest of us do need to use the facilities on occasion after that.

Meanwhile my own "No" is being challenged elsewhere. A friend kindly pointed out this Skull and Crossbones Slanket, which she feels would make an ideal winter wheelchair coat for Mog. Why do I have the feeling my No may have to become more flexible than theirs?


1 comment:

Sarah said...

oh my goodness, that's so cool - I really think you should get the slanket for Mog - at least it's not as permanent as wheelchair covers ;)


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