Start the day in a good mood, hurrah.
Watch your sister go off on the school bus, humph.
Realise you're going to hospital for an appointment, hurrah.
Sit in your wheelchair seeing less and less and less as the ridiculous hat your mother made you wear slips slowly down over your eyes before finally coming to rest on your chin, humph.
Arrive at hospital, and see your favourite receptionist who waves you away into a corner, hurrah. See your friend who has moved away but has an appointment at the same time as you, double hurrah. Hear both mothers make plans for coffee post appointments, triple hurrah and a big body kick.
Realise your appointment is now 90 minutes late, humph. And that you are seeing the registrar, not the consultant who brings a sparkle to your eyes, double humph. See the consultant at the end of the appointment, hurrah.
Finish your appointment at the same time as your friend, whose appointment has been similaraly delayed, hurrah. But discover you have to go and have bloods drawn, and your friend has to go off for a different test, humph.
Finish both tests at the same time, and hear the mothers plan for lunch instead of coffee. Hurrah. Wait at the lift, watch in disbelief as most people get out of the lift and then instead of waiting for us to get in, the remaining couple of people press the door closed button and continue the downwards journey. Humph. Watch the lift stop and flash an "Under Maintenance" message. Decide it might be a hurrah as you weren't in it at the time.
Remember the other lifts, and escape to the coffee shop. Eat a chocolate muffin and laugh lots. Hurrah. See the gastrostomy nurse, meaning the only nurse you missed this visit was respiratory.
Get back in the bus and drive home, wince as your mother knocks your gastrostomy button. Wince more when she decides you've been doing too much of that lately, and so whips it out to swap it for a new one. And wince even more when she totally fails to get the new one in. Humph.
Laugh as you get to listen to Norah Jones whilst your Mum calls for reinforcements. Laugh more when the reinforcements arrive, and even more when you are full of diazepam and pain meds, given through the temporary thinner tube. Hurrah.
Wince really quite a lot, despite the diazepam and painkillers as Mum and the nurse try hard to get the new button in. And fail. Humph.
Watch your Mum pack for a hospital visit, and then panic slightly when she remembers your sister needs to go to Rainbows. Oops. Watch Mum heave a sigh of relief when the nurse calls the gastrostomy nurse - the one you'd just seen at the hospital - and agrees on a plan of action which involves doing nothing more tonight. Gear up for Rainbows. Hurrah.
But I'm predicting a big humph when the nurse comes back tomorrow morning to have another go, and an even bigger one if we still can't do it and end up on the day ward.