Wednesday, 10 December 2008

It's an anniversary


How on earth could I have forgotten? Twelve months ago, we sat in front of the judge and he declared us a family, declared Little Fish and I to be mother and daughter forever and irrevocably!

I started looking into adoption twelve years earlier, it was definitely not a speedy process. I was turned down by several adoption agencies "Too young" (despite being legally old enough), "Too inexperienced" (despite working with children with profound disabilities), "Too single" (not sure what I could do about that one!) "Too weird" (for wanting to adopt a child with disabilities).

Eventually I started fostering. Not instead of adoption, not as a second best at all, but whereas initially I had thought I would adopt and then foster, I decided to stop waiting, and to foster first. And I carried on applying to adopt, now and again, when a child caught my interest. Some social workers were interested, others were put off by the complexities of placing a child for adoption with someone who was already fostering, others were put off by the perceived problems without checking the answers.

And then, finally, there was Little Fish.
Now by the time I got to meet her she was a little bit larger
And by the time she moved in, she was bigger yet
And now here we are, a year after Adoption Day, and I find myself arguing with her over whether or not she grew in my tummy (thank you Sunday School for planting that one in her head!).

I've written my first ever Letterbox Letter, a letter to her birth parents telling them about her year. I've signed my first ever medical consent form (and a number of them since then), rather than having to wait for a social worker to do so. I'm still learning to trust my own judgement without having to second guess other concerned parties. And I'm loving the lack of statutory reviews, the ability to go away overnight without having to inform social workers in writing, the ability to go abroad without a special written letter of consent, and most of all, the fact that I don't have to correct people when they refer to me as Mother.
Happy Anniversary, Little Fish!
Love,
Mummy.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

And Happy Anniversary to you as well Tia!

Can't believe where the last year has gone. Look forward to a coffee toast next week.

Hugs

Kx

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your first anniversary! Lovely story, and adorable pictures. What happy little girls you have!

Tj

Anonymous said...

Happy anniversary - both of you!!

Val

Catherine said...

Happy Loveday Tia and Little Fish!!
This year has whizzed past so fast, no wonder your anniversary snuck up on you unawares!!
C&L x

Tina said...

Congratulations all of you...it seems amazing it's a year ago but seems like you have ben together always!
Much love Mummy and Daughters

Alesha said...

(I got a little "misty" reading this post!)

Congrats Tia and Little Fish!!!

I know that she splashes puddles of joy into areas of your heart that you didn't even know were dry.

I know because that's how it has been for me because of Isaac.

Much happiness to you both (and much to Mog as well!),
Alesha

Almost American said...

I'm sure in so many ways you didn't need a piece of paper to say that you're Little Fish's mum - but I can understand how much easier it must make it that you're legally her mum as well!

Happy Adoption Day!

Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary to both you and Little Fish!
What a sweetheart she is and I can tell she sure brings you not only adventure (maybe a few gray hairs now and again :>) ). But a lot of joy and love.
Debra

Michelle said...

Congrats on your anniversary! Only another foster/adopt mom can know what it means to be able to finally get to sign medical paperwork! Give Little Fish a hug from us.

Michelle, Emily & Grace

Elinor said...

Happy anniversary! Great pictures.

Robyn said...

one whole year hey? I feel like she has been with you forever. She is such a wonderful beautiful little girl who has brought so much joy to you ((and challenges that a more mobile child brings!!) and to many of us too! lots of love to you all and happy anniversary xx

Anonymous said...

Has it been a year already! Where did it go. She is beautiful and I am so glad you are her mum. Enjoy many more wonderful adventure filled years to come!

Virginia

Sara x said...

A year already wow, happy anniversary. How long do we wait to hear them call us mom, then how long do we have to wait for them to stop. Only kidding, Little fish is beautiful xxx
Hugs to you both x and mog to xx

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