Google Roundup

Had a lovely day today. A beautiful day, photos would have been wonderful - just the right golden glow to the sunlight and a fantastic location too. Unfortunately I don't know our hostess well enough to ask her if she'd mind us taking a few pictures. I could paint some word pictures instead - but, I'm tired, and Mog's fretting. So instead I thought I'd cheat give you the stars of this month's google searches.

shouting at a child to go to sleep. Doesn't work, trust me. Probably won't scar the child for life I hope, but it's really not terribly effective.

Child in washing machine. Oh don't tempt me (see above).

milkman came. The fastest milkman in the west, or just a regular milkman? Ours came this afternoon to collect the money if that's any help, he drops the milk off three mornings a week and then the slugs drink it.

my newly pierced ear is leaking pus. That's nice for you dear. I suggest you wash it.

battery operated plastic reindeer snow globes. If you find it, keep it to yourself. I don't ever want to meet one! And why are you hunting for one in October anyway?

what are hoists for special kids? They're handy creations which take the lifting out of the caring. If you asked this from the US then you might be better off Googling Hoyer Lifts, that seems to be the standard option amongst my US friends. If you're coming from the UK then ask your occupational therapist.

My cat won't take worming tablets is there anything else I can give her? No idea. But a handy tip from a friend - crush the tablet or open up the capsule, mix it with Marmite, and dab it on the cat's paw. The cat will wash the Marmite off and in doing so will eat the pill.

life cycle of toblerone. They grow on Toblerone trees. The littlest ones are havested first, older ones are harvested later on in the year. The little Tobler Ones things are the collected in Autumn; the seasonal change causes them to drop off the branches. Finally the branches are pruned and wrapped to be sold as giant bars just before Christmas. Then they make their way into my kitchen, where they become Toblerone Brownies. Assuming they aren't eaten plain, that is. I can't answer questions about the fruit and nut variety - that is an abomination and should not be mentioned. Ditto the white chocolate variety. The remainder of the individual little triangles should be planted outside in January, preferably at midnight when the moon is waxing. They will, given love and attention, eventually grow into the trees from which next year's harvest may be gathered. *

Tia

*I may not be telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth here.