Sunday, 12 July 2009

Resistance is futile

Mum, I wanna ast you something. Mum, Mum, Mummy Tia, I need to tell you something. Um, I would like a likkle pizza please. Please, Mummy, it would be very nice and I am a bit hungry. You order one, pleeeeeeeese, Mummy, a pizza with the man bringing it in a box and we can eat it. We could ave one Mummy, we could. I would like one it is my favourite and my best it is.

Anyone care to explain how one small child can eat her own bodyweight in pizza with no I'll effects and yet choke on pasta, gag at the sight of a bread crust, and refuse to allow anything green within three inches of her face? How can h
she retch on a banana milkshake (tubed) and have space for slice after slice of garlic bread? And why are cheese and ham on a plate something to cry about but cheese and ham on a pizza something to celebrate?

Do Dominos make cauliflour and courgette pizzas? Oh, and why is pizza in a box from a man at the door her favourite and her best, but pizza from my fair hands and pizza from the freezer both objectionable?

Readers, we ate the pizza.

Long day today. Up early, and for once LF consented to eat her breakfast (1/2 a slice of toast) in somewhat less than 30 minutes. Smart clothes all round; matching dresses for the girls to LF's delight and Mog's displeasure. All dressed, hair brushed without tears for once, polished shoes, ironed tops, and a reasonably clean house too.

Off to church where for once we managed to be early. Girls delivered to their various spots and I to my semi regular slot into the next-but-one-to-the-back-of-the-rows-in-front-of-the-door aisle seat. It's a comfortably safe spot. Close to the exit if needed by crying child. Or if the church should suddenly burn down; an unlikely prospect but important to be prepared and ahead of the Zimmer brigade . Within smiling distance of several housegroup friends, handshakeable distance from the earnest brigade, and shoulder polishing reach of woman whose name I am now resigned to never remembering. A safe distance from the drums and out of wincing range from the speakers; a spot nicely placed to give a good view of most of the rest of the church whilst still being able to read the words on the screen in front. And for once, feeling reasonably smug - not late, no toast crumbs or coffee stains, proper shoes and even a skirt- and a skirt which i had tied in several different ways in front of a mirror before leaving the house to ensure it was neither inside out nor at risk of unwrapping itself and revealing a pasty white leg during communion.

And then the service started, and I put my hand up to my collar, to loosen off my tshirt. And then my fingers found a label, and I realised my tshirt was on back to front. And then I wasn't feeling so smug any more.

I am not cut out for smart.


Catherine said...

Sorry Tia, but I'm laughing out loud at the end of your post!! Thanks for that - I needed it! :o)
Catherine x

Alesha said...

ditto the above comment - laughing right out loud here, too! : )

sounds like LF is in much better spirits now that she is free from the brace.

as far as the food issues...sounds like you may have to do some creative parenting to get her to eat what you want her to eat. Good luck with that! : )

I hope you were able to enjoy the service this morning, despite the backwards tee.


Doorless said...

You are so funny! How many times I have done the same.
LF is definately just what you needed. She is so cute and I will never understand her eating problems either!

MOM2_4 said...

Hehehe... oops - sorry, I had to giggle!!

You could always get your asparigus pizza & corn is a major topping... just get your pizza in Japan!


Michelle said...

Oh, I think I'm your twin.... And isn't pizza in the box a type of feeding therapy?

Tina said...

hmmm coiuld you save the box and make your own then pop it on the door step and ring the bell???? I suspect she is just too smart to be fooled!
Had to laugh at the shirt back to front, but deffinitley better than the day Rosie had wriggled and undone the front fastening dress I was wearing! and I sat in the second from front row!


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