Friday, 23 January 2009

Ouch

Note to my future self, lest I forget:

1. Midafternoon baths are indeed a good way to spend that miserable hour when a tired and achey toddler refuses to nap. However, when small child wishes to wash spoons in the bath, you should consider the holding capacity of cups and saucepans before offering these as a substitute.

2. When the floor and changing bench are flooded, and should you fail to consider point one, they will be flooded, it is probably better to grab anything at all to mop up with before trying to move small but surprisingly solid child.

3. If you decide to allow child to drip dry whilst sitting on the commode, strong consideration should be given to drying said child's rear end first. Slippery bottoms and smooth seats do not make for a safe combination.

4. It may well be true that getting the child to blow bubbles will facilitate bowel movements. However, leaving the child with a large bottle of bubble liquid will lead, not to major improvements in bubble blowing skills, but to small child with aforementioned slippery bottom skidding off the potty and across the bathroom floor, landing face down under the basin clutching the towel rail.

5. Small wet children coated in bubble mixture are extremely slippery. Picking one up will indeed be like trying to pick up a bowl of jelly without the bowl.

6. One small wet slimy child can combine with a slippery bathroom floor and skate and slither surprisingly successfully.

7. It is important not to get distracted by this new mobility skill. Yes, bubble mixture may have future applications as a physio tool (but probably in the summer and almost certainly in a paddling pool, not on the bathroom floor), but this is not what should be uppermost in your mind when you reach to pick up the small child.

8. Repeatedly grabbing at different assorted limbs as the child you pick up slips out of your hands, giggling, may well not harm the child, but will almost certainly wrench your back.

9. Finally, if you must repeat this exercise at some point in the future, please consider rinsing the towels you did eventually use to mop up the industrial quantities of bubble liquid before you toss them in the washing machine.

That is all.
Tia
edited to add
10. If you decide to plonk small child into her high chair whilst you blog tidy up, please take steps to ensure the packet of dried macaroni is out of reach. Thank you.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for a much needed laugh, Tia! Hope your back isn't too ouch, and that non-slipperiness is now restored to your household!
Catherine x

Tina said...

Hope noone was hurt in the execution of this experiment in the interest of the welfare of many!
HUGS

alison said...

thank you for making me laugh tonight! How is the washing machine??!!

Doorless said...

Lf strikes again! Such a creative child! Hope you and the washing machine do not suffer too much. I will pray for your back. Thanks for the chuckle!

Tia said...

The washing machine is clean!
Tia

MOM2_4 said...

Oh Tia... Sorry, but I giggled through this whole post. I can just see it all.

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