Sunday, 30 August 2009

Two years on.

Two years ago

One year ago, Friend and I, a pizza eaten in memory of the great Pizza Eater, talking through the events of that week; a quiet celebrate and mourn.

And this year? A field of Guides, friends who knew Goldie, but no real remembrance, no acknowledgement of the day. My fault I'm sure, if blame there is; I don't expect others to keep track of my life. But just for now, I seem to be washed up on a small stony island whilst swift waters of life run past on either side. Camp jokes about burns and coffins and accidents hugely unfunny, but any negative reaction inappropriate too.

A goodIsh day, setting aside the minor issue of this anniversary. No special significance except perhaps to me. Is there an offivially designated mourning period? Am I supposed to be over this by now?

Tia

9 comments:

Tina said...

you and Goldie are much in our thougts and prayers.
No rule book with love or grief only where you are is OK!
hugs

Doorless said...

Tia,
Take as long as you need. Goldie was such a wonderful light in your life and to have her taken only to have that horrible accident then not be allowed to even talk about it to close friends I am sure prolonged the grieving period.
Amber too has been gone two years. I still miss her and sometimes something very unexpected will bring on the tears. For some reason my mind has blocked the day and month from memory but not the horror of that night in peds ICU when we so valiantly tried to save her life.
You grieve and mourn as long as you need and we your friends will pray for you and know that Goldie is up with her heavenly father singing and dancing and causing everyone to have even more of a party as she is there . Goldie a beautiful memory. Thanks for the reminder.

Alesha said...

there is no right or wrong timetable for grieving...do as you feel is right.

Those of us who "met" Goldie through your posts remember her today with you. She was such a sunshiny energetic young person who graced your home with her love and humor.

I know that you must still miss her so much. {{{{{{hugs}}}}}} to you.

Alesha

Anonymous said...

I agree with the others--grief does not have a timetable we can measure--its different as time goes by--but its still there and still real--Sometimes we greive silently--isn't easy or necessarily the best but the way life is.
It's been 2 years since we lost Carlos too--and he's still missed-never know when it will hit and the tears come.
So glad that you are willing to share your thoughts and heart with us .
Debra

Trina and Jophie said...

Hugs girlie....

Trina and Jophie

val said...

in a word no. Am sure lots, including myself, where and are thinking of Goldie but maybe just didn't want to mention her aloud? I don't know but I do know she is not forgotten and never will be.

Is pizza on the menu tonight?!

Robyn said...

Absolutely never forgotton. Its often hard to know whether to talk about her or not. I think about her so much and especially when we are altogether. I know many of us miss her. I hope you were able to commomerate her in some way even if just in your head. and no there is no time period...there cant possibly be
xxx

Elinor said...

I'm not totally convinced one can 'get over' something like that. But I think an accommodation can be reached over time. Goldie's life had poetry and humour in it. Hang in there.

Sara x said...

Time restrictions dont count when we grieve. How can we measure the loss in days, weeks, years. I think of Goldie a lot, my special memories will always involve cow biscuits. Livvy and Goldie i imagine now sitting with angels eating as many cow biscuits as they want. Chocolate of course. I havent a clue somedays on why life has to be this way. Just take courage from my faith and my memories. Never forgotten, just greatly loved xxxx

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