Hello, is that Mrs [Mog's Lastname]?
No, this is Tia, but I think I am who you are looking for.
I am phoning from [Medical Equipment Supply Company]. We have a collection from you and we will come tomorrow if that is ok.
You have a collection? What are you planning to collect?
I am phoning from [Medical Equipment Supply Company]. It is an item of Medical Equipment.
I need to know what equipment you are collecting, so that I can have it ready for you. We have a lot of pieces of equipment here.
Is it a bed you are wanting to collect?
Yes, yes, it is a bed and we will collected it tomorrow.
No, no, you won't, you can't, the new bed is not expected until Friday.
That's right, so we'll collect the other tomorrow.
No - Tomorrow is Tuesday, and the new bed does not come until Friday.
Right, so we'll be here to pick up the old on tomorrow between 9 and 5.
No - you really won't, because the new bed does not come until Friday and my daughter still needs the old one until then. And we are also out all day tomorrow.
*cheery music for an interval*
OK, Hello, Mrs [Mog's Lastname]?
Still not me, but carry on...
We will come on Friday to pick up the bed.
I should be used to it really; this is the company who sent a man with no hands to assemble a bed for me nine years ago. The company who delivered a footrest and tray and manage to lose the actual chair in their warehouse for weeks. The company who could not understand why delivering a red chair when a green chair had been ordered might be an issue, after all, it was the same chair wasn't it?
So Friday should be interesting. What's the betting this company turn up to collect Mog's bed (which will need taking dismantling in her bedroom before they can get it through the door) just at the same time the new company deliver Mog's new bed (which will need to be assembled in the sitting room)?