Little Fish moved in with us forever in January/February 2007. Back in September 2006, she visited with us for a fortnight whilst her regular fostercarers went on holiday. We were still working on getting our approvals sorted out to adopt, so having a chance to get to know her as a baby still was great. In preparation for her coming, I made a nice soft snuggly blanket.
And then she didn't want the blanket, and it dwarfed her, and Mog loved it, and I made something else for Little Fish and Mog adopted the blanket as her own. Two years on, she still wears it to school every day, snuggles under it when she is ill, uses it as a pillow at the hospice - I'd say it was definitely meant to be hers.
Which is all well and good, and Mog had a smaller blanket made by a friend which she had outgrown so which became Little Fish's when she moved in. And the girls have beautiful Project Linus quilts, and we have a small stack of crocheted blankets courtesy of my late Grandma, and a pile of fleecy ones given as presents. She's not been deprived.
But, for the past few nights she's been smuggling Mog's blanket into her bed at night. And asking for "me blanket same Mog". And asking "you make me blanket yet?", and not wanting any of the others.
So yesterday we shopped for fabric. Always fun. Little Fish said she wanted red and yellow, so naturally we came away with this:
And it's a long way off being finished, and it's definitely not perfect (I do not like cutting and piecing. Unfortunately, this shows). And it's so far off being anything like Mog's that I hope she doesn't reject it as not "me blanket same Mog".
But it's a start.
In amongst all this cleaning I am realising how much everything has stalled. It's not just the sorting out Goldie's stuff. It's the realisation that although I have walls of photos of Goldie and Mog, I have only printed out half a dozen of Little Fish, and only framed half of the ones I have printed out. I have dozens of nice pictures of Goldie, Mog, and myself; I have lovely photos of Mog and LF together, nice ones of Mog and I, and nice ones of LF and I. But no decent one of Mog, LF and I. And I have avoided getting one taken, because Goldie can't be in it too.
We can't stay stalled forever. Sooner or later things have to start ticking over again. It's been a bit of a shock really to see how much I have stopped, when I thought that actually I'd been keeping things moving along nicely.
The new blanket is a good place to begin, I think.